10 things that might be more important then the nursery, according to a therapist
Decorating the nursery is fun; preparing your heart is essential.
Lately, I've been pondering how we tend to romanticize the concept of "nesting." Unless you're wealthy or a social media influencer, it's not all picture-perfect moments of decorating and organizing the nursery when preparing to becoming parents.
In reality, it involves a lot of anxiousness with never-ending to-do lists, worrying about what essentials you might have missed packing in your hospital bag, and feeling the urge to thoroughly clean the house when you should be taking care of yourself.
Let's get real for a moment - motherhood is no walk in the park, and your nursery doesn't help you with sleep deprivation, cracked nipples or running out of your favourite crackers.
Sure, decorating a nursery is fun and exciting, but there are more pressing matters to focus on as you step into this new chapter of life.
What I’m about to tell you is important because:
Mental health is the #1 complication of pregnancy and childbirth.
1 in 5 birthing people experience a level of anxiety that requires attention and support.
It’s estimated that only 40% will seek help and 60% won't, don’t or can’t.
Many of these women will experience symptoms for years before reaching out for support, and once they do, they often regret not seeking help sooner. Yet, you can't add "mental health" to your registry; that's where I come in.
I'm Kayla, a therapist for moms.
You deserve to feel regulated and ready for life with your newborn. Even if you've spent a ton of time and money trying to get ready, you might still feel like it's not enough.
I want to be honest with you and I'm not one for sugar-coating. I’m here to educate, support, and reassure you as you go from pregnancy to the fourth trimester (the first twelve weeks with your new baby).
10 things that might be more important then the nursery, according to a therapist:
Knowledge (but not too much): Arm yourself with essential knowledge about newborn care and postpartum mental health, but also keep it in perspective. Check what you read and see online against your intuition. Trust your instincts and adapt to what works best for you and your baby.
Sleep/Rest: Repeat after me: rest your body and mind while your baby sleeps. Sleep is medicine. Your rest is crucial to your ability to cope with those rough nights! Your partner can do anything you can do (unless you are breastfeeding).
Food + Drink that Nourishes: You're on 24/7 tiny human duty, so food and drink that fuels you, feels good, and tastes good, is vital for your energy and well-being during this demanding phase.
Creativity: Embrace your creative side! Whether its journaling, painting or simply doodling, carving out time for creative outlets can be incredibly therapeutic amidst the chaos.
Boundaries: Set boundaries with well-meaning visitors who may unintentionally add to your stress. It's okay to say "no" to guests (or pets) when you need alone time with your baby or crave rest.
Healthy Expectations: Let go of the picture-perfect image of motherhood you might have in your head. Embrace the messy moments, the tears, and the challenges. All of it matters.
Practical Support: Before the baby comes, consider who you'd like to support your household with cleaning, meal prep, or errands. Accepting support doesn't make you weak; it's brave AF and makes you human.
Social Support: Research shows that social support for moms is the best way to mitigate potential mental health concerns. Connect with other moms who can relate to your experiences. Building a support network of like-minded individuals can provide invaluable camaraderie.
Emotional Support: Acknowledge your emotions, whether highs or lows. Surround yourself with people who validate your feelings and remind you that it's okay to not always be okay.
Professional Support: Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed or struggle with postpartum emotions. It takes strength to ask for assistance, and there's no shame.
