perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (pmads)
“Postpartum” is a timeframe, not something you have or don’t have…
Postpartum is a word you may hear thrown around a lot:
“But I don’t have postpartum. I don’t want to harm my baby.”
“When my sister had her kids, she had postpartum really bad.”
“My cousin is really struggling with postpartum.”
The word postpartum refers to the timeframe immediately following birth, all the way up to baby’s first birthday.
What someone can be diagnosed with is a perinatal mood disorder, (1 in 5 women have one) and they all look and feel different.
Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders include but are not limited to:
Postpartum depression and/or anxiety
Panic disorders
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Postpartum Psychosis
Bipolar
Here’s what perinatal mood disorders might look and feel like (remember: everyone experiences these differently):
You’re telling yourself all kinds of stories: you are the only one who can calm the baby, put the baby to sleep, and feed the baby.
You’re the only one who can keep the baby from harm.
You check the baby to make sure they are breathing (more often than you’d like to admit).
You feel like you need to be with your baby all the time, you might even lie awake at night watching the baby monitor.
You are constantly feeling like you need to be doing something and cannot rest.
You feel angry, irritable, dizzy, nauseous, and overwhelmed.
You have rapid breathing and a racing heart.
Here is the reality about perinatal mood disorders:
Postpartum depression (PPD) can start minutes after delivery, with the highest risk being in the first 5 months.
1 in 5 women will experience a perinatal mood disorder at some point within the first year.
Women with a history of depression are 35% more likely to experience a perinatal mood disorder.
Women who experienced depression during pregnancy are 50% more likely to experience a perinatal mood disorder.
Want to know if you are experiencing a perinatal mood disorder? Ask yourself the following:
How often am I neglecting my own basic needs, or the needs of my child(ren)?
How often am I blaming myself for things?
How often am I feeling anxious, panicky, worried and/or scared?
How often am I crying, for long periods of time, seemingly for no reason?
How often am I too exhausted to do anything (ie. leaving the house, doing things you used to love)?
When the truthful answer to these questions is every once and a while, it's likely time to reach out to someone. Anyone who is safe, and who will hold you with love and support. This could be your partner, family member, friend, or professional. It doesn't much matter – as long as you can be open and honest with a safe person, it will open up a supportive dialogue.
If you have answered daily for one or more of these questions and feelings have lasted for more than 2 weeks, I highly recommend seeking professional support. This kind of support can come from your family doctor, health nurse or therapist.
Pay attention to that voice inside that says: "something doesn’t feel right here.” Trust that thought and yourself.
Reach out for support. You deserve everthing you need to feel content with motherhood.
I talk to moms every day, and in response to the "how are you" question, these are the standard responses:
"Fine." "Busy." "Getting by." "Surviving."
How is it that we don't ask for more? How is it that we are not being asked "HOW are you"? How is it that when you give someone a real response, they tend to retreat and not know how to respond? How is it that we don't ask for more? More joy, more love, more support, more time, more sleep? How it is that in 2018 we are walking around numb?
I say: BE BRAVE, BE HONEST. Tell the truth (even if it’s ugly – especially if its ugly). Say how you are really feeling. Seek help if you need it. But how will you know when you need support? It's as simple as checking in with yourself every now & then.
Oh, and when YOU ask someone how THEY are, be prepared for the real truth. Respond with something like: "wow, that f-ing sucks". NOT: "oh ok...this too shall pass.” You know what you can do to help: HEAR HER, SEE HER, and be present with her.
That's all anyone needs, just to be heard and validated.
Until next time,
Kayla
If you or someone you know is struggling with PPD or PPA (postpartum anxiety), please reach out for support. I believe you have the strength to heal. In my private practice in Regina, SK, I am passionate about maternal mental health. I offer a free 30-minute in-person consult to find out if I'm the right support person for you.
