7 simple strategies for mom burnout so that you have more patience + an expressive art exercise
do you feel pressure to be perfect, do all the things and be patient with your kids
(without burning out)?
There is so much information about what a “good mother” should be, it can be confusing to wade through all the options. Breastfeed or formula. Home or centre daycare. Stay home or go back to work. Public or private school. And this is just the tip of the motherload iceberg.
A good number of the women I work with are seeking therapy because they can’t find the harmony between being a mom and simply being a human. Their expectations are so high that even thinking about taking care of their needs is paralyzing. They sacrifice everything (even their mental health) to be a “good mother” like it’s a gold medal in self-sacrificial honour (except no one is getting a medal).
Most of these wonderfully complex humans are struggling with unrealistic self-expectations and not enough boundaries. When their armour is down and vulnerability shows up, they admit that they long for more self-love, mindfulness and compassion, BUT motherhood has added a whole new layer to achieving this. They truly believe that being the “perfect mother” will bring them a deep sense of happiness, acknowledgment and worthiness.
let’s call a spade a spade, this narrative is heavy, unnecessary and and simply put, martyrdom.
If you’ve made it this far and it resonates, none of this is YOUR fault, YOU are certainly not to blame for these patterns and conditioning (PSA: I often get caught up in them too). So what are mothers to do? Well for starters they find themselves hiding under the facade of "having it all together,” so that they don’t appear weak, vulnerable and not good enough.
Well, I call bull shit on the whole damn thing. You were a human with needs before becoming a mom and you are a human with needs now. You certainly don’t have to run yourself into the ground in the name of being a “good mother.” You are already good. Want to know how I know, you’ve read this far.
lets collectively acknowledge that parenting is hard AF and that YOUR needs matter too.
are you on the road to mama burn out?
Do you have a hard time saying no (even to your own children)?
Do you frequently miss or arrive late for appointments or completely forget special days (like PJ day)?
Do you sometimes realize it’s noon and you haven’t gone to the bathroom or drank water?
Do you feel like you cannot go to the bathroom with the door closed?
Do you feel like the needs of your children outweigh your own?
Do you dismiss, ignore or not pay attention to your partner during conversation?
Do you sit down as a family and together eat supper, at least 3 times a week?
Do you find yourself saying things like “I just need a break” or “I feel like I can’t live like this anymore” several times a day/week?
Do you have a to-do like a mile long? Do you feel inadequate if you don’t complete this list all in one day?
mama, you are not alone
Join me as I lead you through an expressive art exercise so that you can find a little bit of peace, grace and compassion for yourself
breathing kindness expressive art therapy exercise
Journal prompt jump starters
Listen to meditation audio
Create something that represents what you saw and heard in the meditation
Write to your art
journal prompts
Get out your journal and write the following statements and continue to free-flow (don’t correct grammar or spelling) until you have nothing left to write.
I feel happiest when…
I feel nostalgic when…
I feel grounded when…
I feel patient when…
I feel connected to myself when…
I feel like I belong when…
I feel love when…
I feel joy when…
I feel like singing when…
I feel like dancing when…
art prompt
Create whatever needs creating. Use the materials you already have. Remeber: Process over perfection!
It’s just a piece of paper. Collage. Doodle. Sketch. Whatever you feel drawn to do.
writing to your art
Give your art piece a title
Was there anything that caught your attention in the process?
What are you most curious about or most interested in?
What part of the process was most difficult, emotional, or fun for you?
What are you noticing right now in your body as you look at your image
Are you giving yourself the right amount of attention in order to be the mom you want to be?
How are you giving yourself appreciation? How are you being kind to yourself? OR how can you start?
How are you giving yourself the opportunity (the same you give others) to feel your breath, feel good, and feel taken care of?
7 STRATEGIES FOR MANAGING MOM BURNOUT
Schedule 30 mins for yourself at least once/ week
Practice asking + receiving help - You know that friend who keeps asking if you need anything, actually get them to do something that you need
Outsource what causes you the most stress (without breaking the bank) - Grocery shopping, cleaning the house, yard work
Leave your phone in a different room (and turn off notifications) when you want to be spending quality time with your loved ones
Notice when you are doing things intentionally or doing them to numb out or for distraction
SAY YES to things you absolutely want to do
SAY NO to things you don’t really feel like doing
Bottom line: the solution to burn out is not doing more things, mama. And “self care” isn’t always the answer. Sometimes the best way to walk through burnout is to remove things, outsource things, stop doing things that drain your energy (even when it’s hard, like stopping numbing out with screen time).
What do you do when you’re doing all the things to take care of yourself and it’s not helping? What do you do when these things aren’t working? What do you do when you are on the verge of a breakdown?
This, mama, is the time to seek out professional help.
