how to make time for the things that bring you joy
One of my New Years’ intentions is to work less. To take time for myself – when I need it. For example: on Thursday I work a 14-hour day. On Friday, I might only work half the day, instead of coming in for my regular 9-4.
This week was one of those weeks where I was planning on staying home (because I worked a 14-hour day the day before). My son woke up at 6:30AM, we did the morning routine, sent him off to daycare. I had the morning to myself. If I'd planned, I would've known what I was going to do with my morning. That didn't happen. I had no idea what I wanted to do, and I felt overwhelmed by all my options.
What am I going to do with this "me" time? I could…sleep, clean, take my dog for a walk, have a bath, go shopping, journal.
On and on I went. I just kept thinking: what is going to fill my cup? What is going to being me the most joy? I couldn't make up my mind and, in truth, I started to get panicky about it. Another truth: I haven't been sleeping much. My son is going through a growth spurt and is waking in the middle of the night, restless and challenging to get back to sleep. What I really wanted was a nap. I really wanted to sleep in my own bed. Alone (that hasn't happened in almost a year). Commence a full-blown overwhelming thought-train. During this thought-train, I started to do "the thing"…the thing all mothers do when we are undecided on how to spend our "me" time.
We give, give, and give some more. When it comes time to take care of ourselves, we don't know what to do. We so badly want to do something – anything, everything. We lose sight of the truth and authenticity of our decisions. We base them on impulse and want, instead of thought and need.
I eventually forced myself into a moment of calm and took a page from my own book. I stopped. I took a deep breath and imagined what would bring me the most joy. The Aha! moment came, right on cue.
I went home, got my dog, my camera, warm clothes and headed to White Butte Trails for some nurturing time in nature. What I needed was nature, fresh air, and a long walk. So now I ask you…what is it that you need? What is going to bring you the most joy?
I was once told that if you go back to doing the things you loved when you were 12 years old, that is where your JOY really lies.
Find a quiet place. Close your eyes and breathe.
Visualize your 12-year-old self. Everything about her. Her features, her hair, her smell, her movements.
What did she enjoy? What did she surround herself with? Who did she enjoy spending time with? What brought her happiness?
Stay with her for as long as you need.
Open your eyes.
Write down your thoughts on your JOY LIST from this quiet moment.
Seek and experience what your 12-year-old self enjoyed. Maybe it will bring you joy maybe they won't, but it's a place to start.
You have the time. You deserve it. Because you really do. Seriously, close your eyes and say: "I deserve joy".
Whether you're a parent, working professional, or a retiree, it can feel daunting to discover the things that bring you joy. Feel the urge to start sewing pillows, making bracelets, journaling, playing sports, going for walks, or spending time with animals? None of these things are silly - it is essential to do the things you love in order to lead a fulfilling life.
When you're feeling mundane and down in the dumps, when your life is lacking enrichment and joy, that is the time to start doing the things on your JOY LIST.
Go on, create your very own JOY LIST today!
YOU are worthy of the time it takes to take care of yourself.
Until next time,
