61. Gentle Parenting Pressure: How Social Media Sets Moms Up for Emotional Overload
Gentle parenting sounds like a dream come true, doesn’t it?
Focused on connection, empathy, and raising emotionally intelligent kids, it feels like the antidote to the parent-centered, authoritarian style many of us grew up with. If you were raised in a home where “because I said so” ruled, gentle parenting can feel like the ideal way to break the cycle.
It promises something many of us craved as kids: understanding, softness, and space to feel. And if you’re determined not to repeat the patterns you grew up with, it’s easy to see why this approach is so seductive.
Here's the catch: in an effort to be gentle, many moms overcorrect and end up replacing one set of impossible standards with another. Learn how to navigate the gentle parenting pressure fueled by social media and find your balance.
Why Gentle Parenting Lures You In
For those of us raised in homes where parents’ needs always came first, gentle parenting feels revolutionary. It tells us:
You can create the safe, emotionally attuned environment you never had.
You can help your kids feel seen and heard, something you may not have felt growing up.
You’re doing the work to break generational cycles—and that’s amazing.
These are deeply meaningful goals, and they’re worth pursuing. But what social media doesn’t always tell you is this: in your quest to rewrite the parenting script, it’s easy to swing too far in the other direction, overcorrecting to the point where you disappear entirely.
The Trap of Overcorrection
If you grew up in a home where boundaries felt rigid or connection felt conditional, it's natural to want to give your kids everything you didn't have. However, this desire comes with its own challenges.
How Moms Get Stuck in Emotional Overload
When you're determined to break cycles, you might take on excessive emotional responsibility—for your kids, partner, and yourself. The intense desire to "get it right" can lead to carrying everyone's feelings like an invisible (heavy) backpack, convinced it's your duty to maintain harmony.
Many moms unconsciously overcorrect by:
Suppressing their own needs while trying to stay emotionally available
Saying "yes" to every request, worried that "no" will feel like rejection
Avoiding boundaries because they seem too similar to authoritarian parenting
While this approach feels like proof you're breaking the cycle, overcorrection leads to exhaustion, resentment, and neglect of your own needs. The painful irony? When burnout hits, it becomes even harder to show up for your children in the way you hope to.
Signs You're Taking On Too Much
Ask yourself if you recognize these patterns of emotional overload:
You believe it's your responsibility to ensure your kids are always happy.
You struggle to set boundaries because you worry your children will feel rejected.
You agree to things beyond your capacity because you think that's "what good moms do."
Gentle Parenting Isn't About Prioritizing Your Kids' Needs Over Your Own
At its core, gentle parenting is about connection, not self-sacrifice or self-abandonment. It's about being family-focused, not child-centered. But Instagram doesn't always show the full picture.
Social media often distorts gentle parenting into a pressure-filled, child-centered approach where setting boundaries or exercising parental authority feels forbidden. It promotes the misconception that every moment of frustration or conflict will damage your child.
But experts like Dr. Daniel Siegel and Olivia Scobie tell a different story:
Parenting isn’t about being endlessly accommodating. It’s about showing up, setting limits, and repairing after conflict.
It’s okay—necessary, even—for parents to hold boundaries and meet their own needs.
You only need to get it right 30% of the time (and Olivia and I prove it here: Impossible Parenting: 4 Ways to Find Your Chill and Stop Feeling Like a Failure)
One of my clients, a mom of two, shared this with me:
“I didn’t realize how stress was making me exhausted. I was just channeling my nervous anxious energy into finding solutions, organizing or planning because it felt like something I could control. But it didn’t actually help. The stress was still there—just redirected. It wasn’t until I joined the motherload and meditated and journaled with you that I noticed how much I was carrying.”
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I invite you to examine what's in your emotional backpack.
Remember that invisible backpack we talked about earlier? The one weighed down with your emotions and everyone else's feelings, needs, and responsibilities?
Let's explore what's inside through these journal prompts. They'll help you identify what truly belongs to you—and what you can mindfully set down.
From Backpack to Boundaries: Journal Prompts to Reclaim Your Energy
When you’re feeling overwhelmed by everyone else’s emotions, grab a journal and explore these prompts:
When I feel responsible for someone else’s emotions, what most wants my attention?
Where do I feel this responsibility in my body?
What am I believing about myself when I take on this responsibility?
If I had my way with this feeling of responsibility, what would I do?
What would this feeling say back to me about what it needs?
These prompts can help you shift from emotional overload to clarity and self-awareness.
What Actually Works (and What Doesn't)
Here's what one mom in the motherload discovered about managing her stress and energy:
Actually Helpful:
Guided meditations
Sleepy meditation podcasts before bed
Reading for fun
Activities with her kids and partner (sharing the parenting load)
Getting out of the house with friends
Board games
Napping
Not Harmful, Just Not Helpful:
Binge-watching shows
Organizing calendars, budgets, or meal plans
Actually Made Things Worse:
Mindlessly scrolling social media
Focusing on external fixes instead of inner work
Remember: what works for one mom might not work for another. The key is finding what truly helps you recharge and reconnect with yourself.
Gentle Parenting: Connection Over Perfection
Breaking cycles and rewriting your parenting story is hard, beautiful, and messy work. But gentle parenting isn’t about losing yourself in the process. It’s about showing up as an imperfect, evolving human who teaches their kids the power of boundaries, repair, and connection.
So, the next time you feel the pull of Instagram perfection and the gentle parenting pressure, remind yourself: your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be real. Messy humanity and all.
Ready to make a change? Join our supportive community.
Introducing the Motherload Membership, designed to help you reconnect with yourself beyond motherhood.
This isn't just another mom group - it's a space to drop the mental load, get creative, and rediscover yourself without guilt or perfectionism.
Inside The Motherload Membership, we create a community where moms can be authentic and supported.
This is about our growth, creativity, and voices—embracing motherhood without the pressure of perfection.
Why The Motherload?
With all the invisible work and emotional labor of modern motherhood, our needs often come last. That's why we created this space.
Here, we help us:
Release perfectionism
Rediscover ourselves beyond mothering
Share the real journey of motherhood together
This space is about us—our growth, our creativity, our voices.
For more mom life reality, follow Kayla on Instagram @kayla.huszar
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