45. 6 Easy to Remember Tips for When Motherhood Sucks with Roxanne Francis
If you're a mom who feels kind of stuck it's your lucky day. We’re about to show you how to embrace the suck of motherhood.
Just because we’re therapists, it doesn't mean that we have it all together as mothers.
Sometimes things can fall apart, and it's okay to take a moment to yourself and cry. You don't have to be perfect, and it's okay to not have all the answers. Sometimes just showing up is enough.
"I'm grateful for the support that helped me get through those tough times. That's why I believe it's important to cultivate meaningful relationships because we can't navigate this life alone." Roxanne Francis
So, how do you make motherhood suck less, without adding more things to your already full plate?
Stop protecting your kids from everything:
Eventually your children will experience the world beyond you and you can't protect them from that.
Be the best parent you can be today (best is defined by you, no one else) and let the rest go.
Kayla will take it as a compliment if her child goes to therapy when they need it.
Give yourself permission to do the wrong thing, to fail, to apologize, to make it up.
This doesn’t mean that you are a failure or that our children are going to fail, it means you are human.
Trying to do everything “right” or perfect, will be hard to recover from.
Roxanne has come to realize that life doesn't promise us fun, it's going to be frustrating, even miserable at times. There's going to be times when it's not okay. There are going to be times when you feel like you can't afford this life. But that doesn't mean that it's not worth it. That doesn't mean that you get rid of it.
Just be you! Focus on you:
Comparison will only make you miserable. So what if you don’t make sourdough, let it go!
Talk about the Mental Load:
Making sure that the home runs seamlessly is exhausting.
You gotta recognize the toll that takes on you:
Command that your partner steps up, call in reinforcements when you can, getting some shut-eye when you can, because we all over here are exhausted, tired, and doing what is necessary to function.
Vulnerability is the glue:
Letting people know that you need them, letting them know what you need, and being okay to receive help.
When the suck is too much to bear and it's about to get ugly:
Exit the room.
Force yourtself to say nothing (espeically if it might cause harm).
Step outside, even in the dead of winter.
Take a couple of deep breaths.
Make a phone call to someone you love.
Get your child so a safe space (ie. turn on the TV) while you figure it out.
Mama, you might find these interesting:
Download this free guide: 101 Ways to Be Chill Like a Mother
Follow Kayla on her Instagram account @kayla.huszar
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Roxanne is an award-winning Registered Social Worker and psychotherapist.
She is the CEO of Francis Psychotherapy & Consulting Services, where she runs a busy group therapy practice with her team. She is also a keynote speaker, leadership coach and corporate consultant who addresses topics related to women’s issues, race & equity, mental health, parenting, and wellness at work. Roxanne supports, and mentors other therapists in the field and is also the media’s go-to mental health expert, providing answers to many of life’s difficult questions.
You can follow Roxanne on social media and on her website at www.francispsychotherapy.com.
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