7 truths about the fourth trimester (and what you can do to be ready for life with a newborn)

A lot of pregnant women find it challenging to notice and understand the difference between anxiety and intuition.

You're going to see images and read things on social media of women doing it all, doing it "better" than you and generally living a more chill life (they aren't, by the way). As a result, you will begin to think you can and should be doing or NOT doing all the things too.

Technology, commercialism, social media, and not living in “community” leads new moms to feel like failures in motherhood.

As a result, women feel disconnected from their authenticity in the fourth trimester, leading to anxious thoughts.

 

As a pregnant woman, you have likely found comfort in messaging that…

  • Your baby will fit perfectly into your life, and other than some sleepless nights, your life won't change much.

  • You will feel 100% fulfilled by motherhood, AND you won't need to ask for help because people will know what to do.

  • You won't need help because you are a strong, independent woman, and your partner will step up.

  • Your relationship will get even better, this baby will bring you closer, and this will be the best decision ever.

  • The internet will provide reliable information and will support your decisions.

 

What you may not be prepared for are the 7 universal truths about the fourth trimester

As in, everyone (most everyone) will experience all seven not here things regardless of how they birth, feed or sleep their babies.

  1. Your relationship will change, 60% of couples will experience a decrease in relationship satisfaction in the early days and years of parenting a newborn.

  2. Your partner may not have the capacity to validate your experience, which can build resentment and put distance between you.

  3. Babies don’t sleep, seriously, they have no concept of night/day, and your reaction and ability to cope with sleep deprivation might startle you.

  4. Babies have this way of putting a mirror up to everything you have been avoiding.

  5. You are an adult, no one is coming to save you so it is your responsibility to communicate what you need and feel.

  6. Boundary setting will be complicated and essential to your mental health.

  7. Loving a tiny human is the most incredible, unique, and complex thing you will ever do.

If this makes you feel conflicted and gives you a visceral reaction of “ok, but what do I do about it,” then here is what you can do while pregnant:

  1. Start noticing your intuition. Make time daily to sit with yourself quietly, intentionally and without judgment.

  2. Reflect on what boundaries need to be set and set them.

  3. Download the Postpartum Plan and be the parents that actually ease into postpartum without too much drama.

Suppose this feels like a big ask, and you want more guidance because you can be a chill newborn mom.

I know you want to be a chill newborn mom and have an easy postpartum BUT in order to do that you need for it to all go according to plan. The problem is it’s hard to plan for something you don’t have much control over. Which makes you feel uncertain, worried, and maybe a bit edgy.

Watch this video and ease your mind a bit.

You’re busy growing organs and eyeballs so I made this easy for you

  1. Decide online course OR therapy session?

    Which is a better fit for your time and budget? You already know what you need.

  2. Sign Up + Learn the secrets to more chill

    Learn the simple chill skills you can use in the face of uncertainty.

  3. Be a CHILL mom

    Trust yourself, bond with your baby and avoid a new-mom meltdown.

Kayla Huszar

Kayla Huszar is a Registered Social Worker and Expressive Arts Therapist who guides millennial mothers to rediscover their authentic selves through embodied art-making, encouraging them to embrace the messy, beautiful realities of their unique motherhood journeys. Through individual sessions and her signature Motherload Membership, Kayla cultivates a brave space for mothers to explore their identities outside of their role as parents, connect with their intuition and inner rebellious teenager, and find creative outlets for emotional expression and self-discovery.

http://www.kaylahuszar.com
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